I drove 6 boys down to Sky-zone today. With a car full of boys, there are always a lot of smells and a lot of energy. I stopped at Barnes and Noble and grabbed myself too many books! Lol, and came to let them play as I read the day away.
I decided to pick up this book first. It was one I thought I could get through in a day. It was set up like poems and not a lot of words. I did read through it and was left perplexed. Maybe this is just my overwhelming feeling right now when it comes to the intermingling of our genders. I have more questions than I do answers when it comes to our inter-relating becoming more healthy…
But One thing I know for sure is there is NO way we will be able to continue to exist if we demonize or villainize men.
This is a rather easy elementary way to deal with things but it will get us in a heap of trouble socially. I am not going to excuse the evil things “men” have done over the centuries, but I am going to say that we need men. We need men to raise men. And we need men to love their daughters. When need men to fight wars and carry people out of burning buildings. We need men to shoulder heavy loads and help build communities of righteousness and justice. We need men.
It makes me sad to think that one day, some girl may be in a relationship with one of my sons and blame everything on them. That they might become the villain in their story. What if as women we learned how to bring the best out of our men? What if we valued and understood our differences and what makes us uniquely needed, yet NOT the same. What if we sought to honor our men for what they give and contribute and the burden they carry in their communities?
We as women were not meant to carry the same load. The loads we bare are different and miraculous. A child in a womb, two large life-giving pectorals, brilliant minds, and nurturing spirits. We were created to facilitate growth and teaching and bind our communities together. The gift of connection, friendship, and industry. We are the beauty of the earth.
But my boys, they are different. Just drive 6 boys in your van and watch them play for hours. They are different. My boys are strong and confident, they fight for justice, they stand up for the outcast, they love hard, they are learning about their feelings, learning how to manage them and feel them, they give their mom big kisses and sweet hugs, and cuddle up on dads lap every night. They are smart, emotionally intelligent, and full of life and drive. They are competitive and aggressive when they need to be and live and love wholeheartedly.
They are not perfect, they are growing young men. But they will not be the villain of your story, my boys are not inherently bad. They are becoming, just like you and me sister. Can we make room for each other? Can we be strong woman of worth and allow men to be strong men of honor? We must, our existence depends on it.