Your Next Messy Step…

“There is no message without a Mess.” Steven Furtick-

I was listening to a sermon this week and was inspired by this quote and idea. Furtick leaned into the idea that often we get caught in the trap of believing that life and our spiritual journey is a strategic set of steps.

One, Two, Three. A, B, C. Do this, then this, than that, and then bam! You are your best self. Or you get the result you want.

He shared stories of how in the middle, the messy middle. It never feels strategic.

It is pain. It is bad decisions, it is anguish, it is uncertainty, it is hopelessness, it is the feeling of being lost. It is A MESS.

And it is through this time, the mess, the dusty, dirty, unclear middle, that we come out with a message or something to say. Something we have learned.

We come out changed.

I am in the messy middle. It hurts. And more than anything, I want it to be over.

I got divorced several years ago, and it was a very clean, respectful ending, but now the dark hole of emptiness on this other side of divorce is, at times, unbearable.

The holidays always amplify and shine a bright light on the hole that has been created. I know there are many other people out there like me. Trying to figure out this new life on the other side of divorce, loss, or change.

Traditions have been broken, and a new way of life that is not as pretty has to be adapted to.

Sharing kids between families, trading off holidays, and figuring out Christmas morning. Being a single mom and carrying the weight of your kids, “Merry Christmas” on your shoulders.

It is MESSY. And I hate messes.

I love clean and tidy. I love a peaceful, beautiful, tranquil environment. I have trouble resting or relaxing in places that are not “straightened.”

So here I am my Dear, facing the parts of life, that NO one wants to deal with.

I came across a Psychologist recently and have found myself going “wow,” listening to his insight.

“Here is how you know someone is mentally unhealthy, it is a simple idea by the psychologist Carl Jung, “Mental illness is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.”

What that means is we can never avoid the legitimate suffering of being human. You can only trade it for mental illness.

In other words, a mentally healthy person feels the pain of being human, and therefore, they stay healthy. Whereas a mentally unhealthy person avoids feeling the pain that would have kept them sane.

—This is the person who avoids the pain of judgment and ends up socially anxious.

—The person who avoids the pain of grief and ends up numb

—The person who avoids the pain of vulnerability and ends up lonely.

Marsha Linehan puts it like this, “Pain plus non acceptance equals suffering.” Or Rollo May- “When we deny our pain, we deny our growth.” Psychologist Nevern @nevernsubermoney

I don’t want to, I don’t really want the “growth” or the “lesson,” but I also don’t want to be ill.

So my dear, I am here in the painful, messy middle with you. Feeling all of it. I know one day, one step at a time, we can together walk through this dusty place.

“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear NO evil, for your rod and your staff they comfort me.” For “The Lord is my shepherd (my guide, my protector, my comforter, my provider, the one responsible for the breath in my lungs for LIFE in my bones); I shall not want. (I am taken care of in every way) He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. (I can rest, I can relax) 3 He restores my soul.” (Psalms 23 paraphrase)

He is RESTORING my soul. He is restoring your soul. So from the dust we came, in the dust we grow, and to the dust we return.

Sounds Messy! It is my dear, it is.

Today, it doesn’t have to be perfect; it doesn’t have to be pretty. Just take one more Messy Step. You can do it! I will help dust you off later.

From My Heart  To Yours,