A picture that changed my life…

In the West, we often tend to think in straight linear lines. We want problems, 1 + 1= 2, and we want to know the “right” way to solve the problem and then do it. We want our laws, rules, and religion to easily explain all truth and what is right and wrong. We are conditioned to think in these narrow ways. We give our children formulas either from our holy book or our textbooks and teach them “If you do XYZ you will get ABC result, so do it this way and all will go well with you.” And then it FAILS. It fails us miserably, and so so so many people are looking at life and thinking…

 “What the??? I followed the formulas!”

I was hit with my first major life crisis when I was in my 20s and my whole little world fell apart. Every formula I followed failed me. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

“Have you prayed enough? Are you reading your bible every day? Are you fasting? Are you memorizing scripture and quoting it over your life??  Well just keep praying! Keep confessing!”

I could not find ANY help in my current environment that actually worked. Only formulas.

This journey of disintegration led me to seek, read, study, and broaden my scope to seek the help I needed. I needed to study psychology.  I needed Dr. Brene Brown and her Tedtalk “The Power of Vulnerability” and her book “The Gifts of Imperfection.”   I needed Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud’s book “How People Grow.” I needed counseling from Keith at Samaritan Counseling, who opened my mind in new ways. I needed friends who listened and understood because all the formulas failed them, I needed to see I wasn’t alone. I needed Rachel Leon who while working on her LPC allowed me to utilize her gifts and all she was learning and “counseled” me.

And I needed a phone call with Amy Linthicum Walton, who gave me this word picture that has forever changed my perspective on growth, life, and how to be gentle with myself…

I like everyone on the face of the earth have areas in my life I have to manage. My own set of fears, insecurities, and anxious thoughts, yet not managed well they can take a toll on my health.  I came to a point where I was so frustrated with the issues that I kept facing and I called my friend Amy who had been studying to be a life coach.

I explained to her what I was experiencing, and I told her “I WANT TO BE HEALED! I don’t want to be like this, I don’t want to deal with this anymore.” This was her response…

“Emily, being “Healed” is a very “Christian” idea. It paints a picture of arrival, of perfection, as if we can overcome an issue and NEVER have to face it again, but this idea will fail you.” She continued…

“Life is not a straight path where you have an issue overcome it and keep moving forward never to see it again. No, life is more like a spiral staircase, small at the bottom and wider as you step higher. You will hit one of your issues and then take a few more steps and then there it is again, but as you continue to grow, you will start to come around to that issue less frequently. As the spiral gets bigger you can watch yourself run into that issue less and less and now you are looking at the same issue from above it, from a different perspective and you can grow, adjust, and see things differently, from new heights.”

This CHANGED my life.

This word picture I have taken with me, I have celebrated my small steps, I have celebrated when I come to one of my insecurities and face it differently. I celebrate when I haven’t seen one of those nasty issues in some time, and now I know these babies so well and  I know I CAN work through them with confidence that I AM changing. I can celebrate growth. I can celebrate my humanness, I will share it with others, and help them along the way as we climb this staircase together.

My dear, be gentle with yourself. We all have internal battles, hurts, wounds, and scars to overcome. You are not alone, your issues are not unique, and you are NOT the only one. No my dear, we are ALL here, just doing our best to walk out our healing one step at a time. Let’s climb together.

From my heart❤️ to yours,