The Healed Myth…

I hear it often and watch people all around me wrestle with their humanity, weaknesses, and shortcomings, and we want to be “set free” from it all. We want to be healed.

Today we are inundated with information, new science, new information, new studies, therapists, opinions, theology, books, podcasts, oh my goodness, I could keep going. There is so much information. So many voices.

I love learning and am a tad bit addicted to growth. It is through much reading, studying, and other voices that I have found myself and my voice. So I don’t want to swing the pendulum too far, as there is so much value in being a seeker of knowledge and truth, but I do want to shine a light on a myth or illusion that I do not want us to fall susceptible to.

Here is the myth…

Someday, if you try hard enough, learn enough, do enough therapy, pray enough, you will be HEALED.

This type of culture or outcome is pushed on us in a million different ways. All of advertising and marketing is focused on showing us that we are lacking something and to be whole, happier, healthier, prettier, sexier, we need this thing…

It is interesting because I feel even the “faith of our fathers” has fallen into this trap. We sell a religion that “heals and saves”.

“When you do this… You will then be healed.”

There is some truth in all of this, but for the most part, I believe the illusion that we are to pray a prayer, or do these spiritual things, and then we will be healed of our weaknesses, ailments, or our dis-ease. This is not reality, but we believe life SHOULD be this way, so we then become very disillusioned and suffer because life is NOT kind.

In the book “What My Bones Know,” Stephanie Foo shares her story of Complex PTSD from a childhood riddled with abuse. She shares her journey of therapy, and is constantly trying to fix herself and be FREE from her C-PTSD. As you get to the end, I remember feeling so affirmed as I read her final thoughts…(spoiler alert)

“ So this is healing, then, the opposite of ambiguous dread: fullness.

I am full of anger, pain, peace, love, of horrible shards and exquisite beauty, and the lifelong challenge will be to balance all of those things, while keeping them in the circle. Healing is never final. It is never perfection. But along with the losses are the triumphs.

I accept the lifelong battle and its limitations now. Even though I must always carry the weight of grief on my back, I have become strong. My legs and shoulders are long, hard bundles of muscle. The burden is lighter than it was. I no longer cower and crawl my way through the world. Now, I hitch my pack up. And as I wait for the “beast” to come, I dance.” (pg 317)

The picture of a destination where we arrive and only experience joy, peace, love, and happiness will not happen here on this earth.

As Foo describes above, our wholeness, our fullness, comes from experiencing ALL of it and becoming stronger.

And I would add, empowered by the Spirit, we bear the burden. We are promised to be placed under a yoke together. Right beside us is a strength beyond ourselves to help carry the load. But the load IS there. The load or the burden of this life doesn’t go away.

The troubles of this life will be heavy, but the goal is that we become stronger and we become wiser as we deal with ourselves and all life throws at us.

I want healing for you; I want it for me! And my dear, I want us to learn that our healing starts with learning who we are uniquely and accepting ALL of it and gently loving all of our parts.

ALL the “horrible shards and the exquisite beauty.” Wholeness is in the fullness of ALL that we are. Beauty and Ashes. Anger and Peace. Despair and Joy.

Healing comes when we learn to love the “little Emily” inside of us unconditionally. This is the gospel. That you are loved, even before you were formed in the womb, even before you behaved “right.”

When you were alone, abandoned, abused, neglected, hurt, you were loved. When you acted out of your pain, you were loved.

All of you is fully accepted. All of you is fully seen.

There is no condemnation is the message of the Christ. There is no shame. Love shines its light into our hearts, and we are called “Children of God.” Adopted JUST as we are.

My dear, perfect love and acceptance are still the balm for a weary soul and the medicine we all need. You might have a dose to offer someone today; you might be the pain-reliever.

In all your humanness, offer yourself to someone today, and let’s walk together, carrying the load of life, learning, growing, and becoming more whole every day.

From My Heart to Yours,